Updated: Nov 15, 2020
So on Saturday 31st October we had the scary halloween news that a second lockdown would be effective across the UK from Thursday 5th November and that it would last for 4 weeks, minimum. My initial reaction was that it’s a little too late. The lockdown should have happened weeks ago. Or better yet, pubs, restaurants etc shouldn’t have opened as quickly as they did and they should not have allowed so many people in. There was one night when Matt and I went out for dinner (post lockdown), it was a lovely sunny, warm evening and the restaurant/bar we went to was absolutely rammed with people, all sat outside on tables right next to each other, in big groups. Then on the walk back home, there was a queue round the corner for another bar. It was madness. I know people were sick of lockdown but then as soon as the restrictions were lifted everyone went a little OTT. I felt angry that the government didn’t act quick enough and they allowed too much to happen between then and now. I also feel that people need to have a little more common sense. Just because lockdown ended, did not mean that life returned to or should return to normal. The virus was still out there and by pretending like it wasn’t didn’t help anyone. However, on the flip side, you have an economy that is struggling and that needs a big boost from the general public - honestly, I think whatever the government did would be wrong in one way or another. Let’s just say I am pleased I am an accountant, not a politician. Secondly, my thoughts went to work. I worked from home during March through to June (we returned way earlier than we should have). I was lucky to be able to work from home and I am extremely grateful for that. Matt and I worked for the same company so set up shop in the lounge and got on with it. Now I do not want to work from home. I don’t want to be confined to the same four walls for weeks, and Matt may not be working from home with his new job so I would be completely isolated. The thing is, if no one is going out, how high is the risk in the office? I do, however, think that people should be given the option to work from home. Some people have vulnerable family members and those with children still at school should be able to work from home to reduce the risk for the office and their family. The difficult thing was having to wait for the MD to come into work (apparently he had better things to do than reassure his staff) so that management can have a meeting and discuss what’s best going forward. This leaves a lot of time for people to gossip amongst themselves and get riled up over things they do not yet know. In the end, it was decided that if we wanted to work from home we could but that the office would stay open for those who wanted to stay. I chose to stay, so did around 12 others. The risk is so small and the thought of being home alone all day is too much for me to deal with. In the office we are all aware of what is going on, we adhere to guidelines regarding distance, hand washing etc. I am also annoyed that mine and Matt’s trip to Norwich this Friday will no longer be going ahead, I know, I know - there are bigger things to worry about. But from a selfish standpoint I wanted to spend a nice day with Matt exploring Norwich, doing some shopping and having a nice meal in one of my favourite places. It’s been such a long time since we were able to have a day out and it looks like we will be waiting a few more months. With the house purchase and his new job I was just looking forward to a day together where day to day life doesn’t matter. I think it’s so important to make time for each other and do things that you both enjoy as a couple. So instead, it looks like we will be going for a walk and chilling at home! Trust me, I know it could be worse and I shouldn’t complain but it’s my blog and I’m being honest!
So lockdown 2.0 isn’t the only stressful thing to happen this week. On Tuesday morning I received a call from Matthew while biking to work, he’s had an accident while driving to work. He is fine, no one else was involved, just him, some slippery road and a lamppost. Now, this wouldn’t be quite so stressful if it was an isolated driving related incident. However, a few weeks prior he had to spend an obscene amount of money on two new wheels, tyres and coil springs. It also only passed it’s M.O.T the week before the lamppost incident. This resulted in the car being written off, a car that he’s just spent more than it was worth on, a car that's write off value was less than he’s recently spent on it. A courtesy car was not available on his policy so, once again, my sister came to the rescue and helped get him to and from work. Meanwhile, in the background his dad is busy trying to find a new car for him because, you know, he needs one to get to and from work! Luckily, we just about have enough money, with the exchange on the house imminent it’s not like we have loads to spare! This whole situation caused me so much stress. Stress to the point of mid cycle bleeding, a horrific acne flare up, fatigue and a huge loss in concentration. On top of this, how do I not worry every single morning when he drives to work? I wish I was someone who stressed a little less, Matthew seems to have been completely unaffected by the whole situation while me and his dad have stressed and worried none stop! On a more positive note, the new car was delivered by Matt’s parents on Friday, me and his mum had a lovely chat over a cup of coffee while Matt took his dad out to prove he can drive safely. We all then went for a walk to look at the new house, not that you can really see it but a whole row is now complete and it’s nice for Matt’s parents to see the progress and how the site is looking. I also ordered a new bike this week. I have considered the cycle to work scheme a few times but always put it off thinking that I don’t need to spend money on a newer, better bike. But I do. I bike so often that I know a better bike would be beneficial, so now I am just waiting for my order to be confirmed and delivered! Let’s hope this bike doesn’t have a chain that falls off every week and that changes gears smoothly! The thing is, despite all the stress and negativity going on at the moment, it's important to find things to be grateful for. There is always something, it can be small and simple but always, always look for the positives (easier said than done, trust me, I know!). When life gets overwhelming I am useless, I shut down, I mope about and I just end up making myself feel worse. I need to try to remember to take a step back, process what’s happened and look at what I can do to help the situation. You cannot fix everything so start with what you can. The below is so simple, and something that I often forget:
Worrying is such a waste of time and I have wasted a lot of time doing just that. I am a person whose mind always goes to the worst scenario, I always have been and trying to undo years of that worrying nature is hard! Something I came across recently is ‘mind dumping’. I suppose it’s like journaling but less structured, it's more about getting your thoughts and feelings out onto a piece of paper and then viewing it objectively. Maybe that is something I need to learn and use going forwards. I like the idea of it, a way to get my thoughts out rather than ruminating on them.