I have a very bad habit……... I seem to take peoples actions personally. If someone cocks up, or forgets something, I feel as though that it’s been done only for the sole purpose of pissing me off. This is being written after a stressful day at work so excuse the anger. No it’s not been a busy day, nothing has really happened but so many people are doing ‘stupid’ things around me. The thing is the things aren’t even that stupid but because I think they should know better I am getting annoyed. Everything has to be done my way or it’s wrong. I think a part of me has always been like this, I’m not a perfectionist, just a control freak. I like things to be done properly and to the letter (ok so maybe a little bit of a perfectionist), what is the point in having processes if people are not going to follow them. So every time I stumble across something that is less than par I let it get to me, for example, when someone mentioned the service being ‘shit’ at a restaurant I am going to, I get defensive. Their opinions, views and processes do not affect me in any way shape or form. I don’t know why I suddenly care so much - hormones, tiredness, lack of sugar or caffeine? Maybe this says more about me than the other person.
So now as I write this, as I hoped, I am starting to realise that all day I have overreacted to everything, people aren’t doing things wrong to purposely annoy me, hell they aren't even doing anything wrong!
Just because my partner forgot my lunch the other day, despite it being in the fridge underneath his, does not mean it was a personal attack. It was a simple mistake. Yet my wonderful messy mind goes straight to ‘how dare he - I’d never forget his lunch’! Anyway - it was fine, I got a subway salad and had my planned lunch the next day. I think because I am always putting others first, making sure they are happy and have everything, I think people will reciprocate, but that isn’t how people work. Everyone has their own personalities, their own ways to show affection, appreciation and love. Just because it’s not the way I would do it, does not mean that it’s wrong or that they are out to attack me!
It’s amazing how much better I feel for getting all that out - I hope you like a good rant! I’m just trying to be honest and keep it real with you all. At the end of the day no one is perfect but we can all work towards being a little bit happier. Sorry for those who I get the arse with when things aren't done my way x