This week has been intense. I'm not someone that usually suffers from PMS but this week I seem to be all over the place. I feel low, miserable and doubtful.
This week we were told that our house is complete! We are buying a new home and have been waiting impatiently since September. Now it's actually ready, well I say ready, they still need to lay the road to the front of the house, but we should be able to go in and see what we have bought next weekend. This should be a mega exciting time but all I have experienced is doubt. What if we are doing the wrong thing? What if Matt isn't the person I should be buying a house with? What if I don't like the house? What if we chose the wrong carpets and worktops and cupboards? What if it's a lot smaller than we envisioned? How are we going to afford all the things we need? There are just so many questions.
I am hoping that once my period arrives I will experience a sense of calm and clarity and that everything will once again feel 'right'.
Something that has helped me through this time is journaling. I know, there are loads of other people giving journal prompts and I want to jump on this bandwagon.
My February Journaling Journey
Throughout February I committed myself to journal every morning after yoga. I have loved journaling for a long time, I did it throughout school and college and then I stopped for a long time. When I split up with my ex husband I returned to journaling. The thing I realise now, is that I wasn’t so much journaling as I was writing every single negative thought onto paper. While this can be good and therapeutic I never wrote when things were going well, when I had things to celebrate. The journal only came out when I was in a negative place. So now when I read them back I come across as a very miserable person. I never celebrated any achievements or wrote about the positive outcomes from my separation or the positive events in my life, how strong I was, how brave I was or how independent I had become. So this time, I wanted to journal from a place of love and understanding.
It seems that I happened upon Kirsty Gallagher at the right time. For the month of February she started a journaling challenge where, every week, I receive an email with two journal prompts. Every day for that week I would practice yoga and at the end of my practice I sit down and speak the prompts to myself, see what comes up and then I write down what comes up. It’s amazing what can come up when you don’t try to force it, when you are writing from a place of calm rather than anger or upset.
Going forward I will continue to use these prompts as I would love to be able to look back on the year and see how my answers have changed and how I have grown.
Deep down I am most afraid of _________
I can take care of myself today by _________
If I was unapologetically and truly my most authentic self today I would _________
What I love most about myself is _________
I feel _________
I am grateful for _________
Using these prompts has helped me to understand where some of this doubt is coming from and it has allowed me to let go and embrace what is happening and unfolding.
I hope that these journal prompts can help you too.
Let me know in the comments below what your favourite journal prompts are and whether you find journaling helpful. If you don't journal is it something that you would like to start doing?